How a Narcissist Obtains Supply -7 Ways
In the beginning of a relationship with a narcissist, they will set you up to believe they are wonderful, the best thing on earth, that they are a great catch, and that you should be, in essence, in awe of them.
In this article we are going to cover 7 supply methods narcissists use and is key in detecting, many are covert methods as they wish to slowly change you so you are conditioned to abide by a certain behavior to suit them.
A narcissist will give the impression they have it altogether, can solve all your problems, and are the “glorified one”. This sets the stage for them to gain your trust. They do this by appearing to be vulnerable and open to gain your deep level of trust and commitment.
Simultaneously, a narcissist will implode upon you wonderful outlandish compliments, which is love-bombing. They are trying to feed your soul with empty words of affirmation to win you over fully and wholeheartedly.
They are trying to feed your soul with empty words of affirmation to win you over fully and wholeheartedly.
The narcissist is convincing, charismatic, with an undertone of covert manipulation (that cannot always be detected, since they are smooth talkers). They are like-able, kind, good to babies and pets. They are delightful by appearance and the crowd agrees.
They are trying to win you over, to believe in them, and buy into who they say they are. They will then, once they have you brainwashed to believing in them, they will escalate to other forms of insidious abuse such as the following supply tactics:
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Gaslighting
A narcissist will outwardly tell you the very things you say happened, never happened, setting stage for you to question yourself, thoughts, behaviors over and over again until you doubt yourself and no longer believe what you have seen or heard.
The narcissist wants you to take their point of view and perspective.
A narcissist will gaslight ever so gently–at first. Their deception will worsen and you will think you are going crazy. The narcissist knows full well their intentions; they are deliberately causing you to lose your mind, and they take joy in it.
Testing and Overriding Boundaries
A narcissist will test your boundaries to see how much abuse you will take. They will do this covertly or sometimes overtly and even creatively to learn how you respond and where your limits are.
At first you may allow the intrusion, but once put up a firm boundary with a narcissist, they will get outraged and will deliberately override it, knowing it irritates and violates your boundary line.
Discrediting
Another form of supply is when a narcissist will undermine your ideas, dreams, visions, goals and plans to be successful if even acknowledged. They will want you to give up your life for them, because they view you as an extension of themselves, to serve their purposes.
Related: Top Lies a Narcissist Tells
Isolation
A narcissist will seek to move you physically and mentally away from those you seek support. They may wish to move far out into the countrywide isolated.
They may put down your friends and family, discredit them so you will feel shame in reaching out and confiding in them. The narcissist is jealous and wants the attention. They want to be the sole source of influence in your life.
At the same time, the narcissist will defame you to your friends and family. They will speak ill of you, out of fake concern, only to spread lies and to isolate you further. This way here, your friends and family will not reach out to you, since they may believe their stories.
They Answer For You
If you are asked a question, many times they will answer it and not allow you to speak your mind. Dare have an independent thought and especially one that is contrary to their belief, and you may be introduced to the narcissistic rage. They want to control what you think and say.
They have to be portrayed in the best of light. Their desire is to shut you down, so you give up. They want to invade your inner mind. They want greater control to continue to abuse you further. When you are worn down by them, they feel powerful.
Listening to Find Weak Spots
They listen to hear your pains, your shame stories, only to later be used against you. Be careful what you share with a narcissist, as an elaborate convincing story will be told when you are not around.
They will seek to destroy your reputation as when and if you decide to leave them, your support network has dried up due to the stories told. They will want you to come back to them, so they can extricate more narcissistic supply from you and remain in an endless cycle of abuse.
Playing Mind Games
A narcissist will deliberately instigate circular conversations that do not resolve. They think this is a fun game, and they enjoy messing with your head. Many times, these conversations are traumatic, and you can spend days wondering what was said. It’s orchestrated confusion.
Like a parched tree when growing by the side of a home, slowly pervading the pipe in search for water, a narcissist is in constant search for narcissistic supply. They will employ deceptive tactics from the onset to try to feed their need for approval, admiration, and to feel valued to their core.
Learning about the tactics used, and understanding the narcissist, will help us to recover from the devastating effects of the emotional abuse.
Narcissists live for supply-it’s like the air they breathe…
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Resources
Practical Steps To Leave a Narcissist: If you are seeking practical steps on how to leave a Narcissist, click here.
Steps After Going No Contact: No Contact- 8 Necessary Steps after No Contact
Assistance to Overcome Devastation after Narcissistic Abuse, click here.
My Story: If you would like to hear more about my story, click here.
Additional Resources: Love-Bombing
