Narcissist Kryptonite: 8 Things a Narcissist Never Wants you to Know or Do
This article was updated May 8, 2023.
A narcissist thrives in certain environments when their needs are met. When things go awry, and their needs are not met, or they have been ousted, they will not be happy campers.
In this article, we are going to explore the biggest fears of a narcissist, which are the very things they don’t want you to ever do or act on or heaven forbid, even have knowledge of. Let’s begin.
Table of Contents
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Kryptonite #1: Criticize Them
Well, no one likes being criticized, but a to narcissist, it’s unbearable. You see in their mind, they view themselves as above reproach, even better than others, which concludes them to believe they should not be faced with any sort of criticism.
Since they view themselves in the best of light, they also view others to be underlings, below them. The purpose of their underlings, according to a narcissist, is to get them everything they need or want. With that belief, others do not have any authority nor standing to be able to criticize them. Any attempt will be met with backlash and turning the table on to them.
The narcissist portrays an image of being charismatic, likeable, even kind so they are viewed as favorable by many. If someone were to criticize a narcissist, it may throw the narcissist into a rage, or fit of anger, even on something small natured, which has those in their life typically walking on eggshells. This is why too, many victims of narcissistic abuse, suffer with C-PTSD (more on that in another article).
Kryptonite #2: Find Out Their Games / Catch ON
A narcissist lives in their very own manipulative world. They have manipulated their flying monkeys, associates, family members, and friends into them believing a certain façade. This façade has been a diligent and orchestrated effort for the narcissist and the very last thing they want you to do is catch on and find out the whole thing has been one big charade.
They only know to manipulate, deceive, and control. If you find out what they have presented to you was a lie, then their whole life may blow up in shambles.
A narcissist has many tactics up their sleeve to prevent others from finding out the hidden but real story. At times, their mask cracks and this is when we can see their true self exposed.
Their whole purpose of using tactics is to prevent you from seeing the false façade.
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Kryptonite #3: Exposure
A narcissist puts on a show, daily to those close to them, and acquaintances. They wear the mask of loyalty, charisma, fun and being easy-going to name a few, however, many may see the mask slip and see the true colors show.
A narcissist fears the threat of exposure. They know they wear a mask – to which, hides their true self; however, they fear not only being discovered, but being called out and exposed.
This fear of exposure is very real to a narcissist, which is why they use the systematic cycle which is idealize (love-bombing) devalue and discard. If they believe they may be exposed, they will revert to the next stage in the cycle and use other tactics to remain hidden under the mask and not to be found out.
Kryptonite #4: Not Provide them with Supply
A narcissist lives on supply, which is any form of attention, good or bad. They live on your reaction to their obtuse behavior. If one day you either stop acknowledging their presence, or stop communicating, or cut them out of your life, the narcissist will be drastically impaired.
They have come to rely on your supply for a time (years, decades even), and if their supply were suddenly cut off, it would be unbearable. This is why narcissists have several sources of supply. If one form of supply no longer serves, or isn’t providing enough supply, they have other sources to which they can extract.
Note: This too, is why a narcissist does not like closure, as they like to always keep an open door should they need supply even if years down the road.
Kryptonite #5: Tamper with their Reputation or Outward Persona
A narcissist has spent in come cases, their whole life building their reputation and public persona. They have worked hard to present to the outside world a personality and demeanor that is acceptable. Is it their true self? What do you think?
This is why the narcissist is a control freak. They must control the narrative, their appearance, and what others think of them (perception). They must have others believe a certain way about them.
Have you been in a relationship with a narcissist, and they do not allow you to speak or share an opinion? This is because they need to control the narrative. They need to control what others think.
Even within the family narcissistic unit, there may be a family spokesperson (the narcissist) and the underlings, (children and partner) who may actually have no voice to speak for the family. Reputation is king. This is also why those who go against the accepted “voice” are silenced, belittled and even attacked.
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Kryptonite #6: Leave Them
A narcissist never wants you to leave. From day one, they have orchestrated events, people, so you will remain within the structure.
If you ever leave, everything they have established is at risk: their false persona, their game, they now have the threat of exposure, their reputation is at risk, their supply could diminish…everything that has been built could come down like a house of cards if you leave the relationship or family unit.
It’s not about reconciling in a relationship or doing the right thing within a family like treating others right, like with kindness, gentleness, listening and enjoying others company. It’s about control. Controlling the narrative, controlling the perception and controlling the reputation.
This too, is why the narcissist makes it so hard to leave the structure.
Kryptonite #7: Hold them Accountable
If a narcissist were to be called out on their behavior, they have tactics to prevent their persona from falling apart at the seams. The tactics include blame-shifting, changing the subject in conversation, gaslighting, narcissistic rage and others so they do not have to take responsibility for their actions.
A narcissist doesn’t want to be held accountable, because then it might mean they would have to make changes to their behavior – which they are not inclined to do any day. They would rather deflect and avoid responsibility as long as they can.
Related: Will the Narcissist Change?
Kryptonite #8: Go No Contact
If you leave a narcissist that is one thing, but going No Contact, is separate distinct action. Both are absolutely terrible to a narcissist (kryptonite) and what differentiates them, is that no contact is final. A narcissist no longer has access to information to try to bring you back, they cannot try to manipulate you any further. Yes, they can send their flying monkeys, but no contact is like a death sentence to a narcissist.
No contact removes supply, you have moved on and they are left in the dust. No Contact, is the very fear they had since the beginning. They never wanted you to have the ability to leave, which is why is they had so much control over the relationship. No contact is the ultimate kryptonite to the narcissist.
Is going No Contact easy? Certainly not. If you try to leave the relationship, the narcissist will try to make your escape nearly impossible, but it can be done with a well-executed plan.
Final Thoughts
A narcissist has many fears, fears that to them are rational since they have so much risk involved if things do not pan out a certain way. From the beginning, the narcissist started their game with the hope you will never find out and if you do, the tactics used against you will be so severe that you will either remain quiet and choose to remain as an obedient underling, or silenced but protected within the house of cards, Or, run the risk of leaving to set your life on a different trajectory.
Has this article been helpful? Are there topics you would like a deep dive into on the topic of narcissism? Jot them in the comments below!