About The Author
Lynn is a narcissistic abuse recovery coach, author, personal survivor, podcast host and creator of the YouTube Channel, Wake the Elephant. Lynn's books include Overcoming the Devastation of Narcissistic Abuse: How to Heal, Recover and Take Your Life Back and Master Manipulators: Discover Covert Tactics Narcissists Devise to Manipulate, Deceive and Control. Lynn is passionate to encourage others through the stages of healing and recovery from narcissistic emotional abuse. Lynn is an avid traveler and occasionally shares her experiences and tips as she left the USA and resides in Mexico.
The purpose of this site is to validate victims (now survivors and overcomers!) of narcissistic abuse, provide resources and encouragement toward rebuilding lives, and to facilitate a revolutionary change to pursue dreams, visions, and living intentionally. If you have found our free material to be useful and beneficial, please head to our Support Page to learn how you can support our mission. We thank you in advance. Subscribe to our email list and follow us on Social Media to stay connected @waketheelephant.
Validate. Rebuild. Revolutionize.
I am the scapegoat of my family. I have been
ostracize from my entire extended family 🙁
love knowing why! its helping me survive.
I cannot find any information anywhere about how to parent a scapegoat and golden child once a spouse has left a narcissist. I am the healthy parent who got out of the toxic relationship, but my children are still subjected to the narcissist because of custody laws. I have no control over that, but I need to learn the best way to parent my scapegoated child and my golden child in the way that gives them the best chance at a healthy relationship with each other and in their future relationship with others. I have found NOTHING. Therapists do not believe me that this is happening. They always believe that their father “wants what is best” and I have to get his permission for them to see a counselor, which means he has to meet with the counselor, as well. Any advice? Similar experience?
So glad you found this helpful!
Rita, you may also like our article here on Being Ostracized: https://www.movingforwardafterabuse.com/ostracized-no-contact/
My sister is the golden child. We both know my mother is a narcissist, yet she keeps up her role of discarding me, the scapegoat. Her loss. I’m the happy one now! smile
Like others here, I was discarded by my Narcissistic egg donor once she believed (wrongly) that her golden 51 year old “baby” would come from Pennsylvania to visit our long time institutionalized brother. He had resisted this for years, and I told my wife that once he agreed to visit, I would be cut out of the inheritance (I was).
I was really quite surprised initially when this brother showed his true greedy nature. We had spent a lot of recreational time together over the years. From the reading that I have done, though, I concluded that he was just mirroring me, as Narcissists do. My hurt has lessened as I understood more about the family dynamics, so I am moving forward.
I am a little embarrassed to say that I am enjoying the fact that he married down with trollop wife #3, and turned down the career that I tried to steer him into – from which he would have been pensioned for about 20 years now, with full medical benefits. Since he is now 64 years old and has no retirement account, I guess he is going to need the money that he pilfered from his brothers. I don’t think that he has medical benefits yet, so whatever health problems he has, he deserves. I don’t feel any obligation to inform him of the family medical history, either. So for anybody out there who has a loser Ahole sibling, remember that Karma has a funny way of turning up, in ways you don’t even realize.