Reconnect with your Intuition after a Narcissistic Relationship

Intuition is More than a Feeling

Intuition, the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning, is often referred to as a ‘gut reaction’ in acquiring new knowledge or experiences. Psychologists believe intuition draws from past experiences in our long-term memory storage to search for similar events or situations to make an assessment based on pattern-matching.

The Narcissists Role in Your Intuition

The narcissist does not want you to be in touch with your intuition for many reasons. They want to be the party that imparts knowledge – so at every interaction they are trying to separate you from not only listening to it, but from getting in touch with it on a regular basis.

Have you ever felt something was just not right but had a hard time explaining it? Do you sense something is off, but need more information to conclude? This is your intuition.

A narcissist wants to prevent you from engaging into your intuition because they want you to be dependent on them. From the very first encounter with a narcissist, they are trying to train you to need them, serve them, and be dependent on them.

Related: 6 Things a Narcissist Seeks

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How Does a Narcissist Break Your Intuition?

A narcissist is the mastermind behind the tactics. They will downplay, minimize, gaslight, belittle, not validate, will silence you, and more… They use tactics over and over and over again, after a while…. you may start to listen less to yourself have increased doubt and slowly lose the connection with your intuition, by design. For more information on the tactics, check out Master Manipulators: Discover Covert Tactics Narcissists Devise to Manipulate, Deceive and Control on our Recommended Books Page

Many people state they felt something was off in the beginning of a relationship with a narcissist, but they ignored the red flags, or denied them, or even minimized them. This was the narcissist at work, covertly, behind the scenes to derail you from your intuition.

How to Reconnect with Your Intuition

It’s essential to reconnect with your intuition because it’s a signal something needs further exploring. It’s meant to protect you and to warn you. Here are some ways to reconnect with it.

Listen to your Mind/Heart/Body/Inner Voice
Get in A Quiet Place Free from Distraction or Go for a Walk Where you Can Think and Have Independent Thought
Be Wary of What/Who You are Listening to Surround Yourself
Assess your Inner Circle and Observe How Others Treat You
Listen to What You Say to Yourself/Watch Out for Self-Sabotage

6 Challenges to Overcome in the Process

There are many hurdles in overcoming and recovering from a relationship with a narcissist and regaining the connection with your intuition is one of the steps – and it brings its own set of unique challenges. It is a process to rediscover your intuitive side, to listen to it and to start to trust it. Here are six hurdles you may run into as you venture down this path.

It Goes Against the Flow

If you have been in a relationship with a narcissist for a long time, and all of a sudden you find your voice and try to share it and speak it (with the narcissist), you will be met with a heap of tactics coming toward you. Your intuition is meant for you, to listen to, to gage your life and direction. If you share it with someone especially the narcissist, be prepared for it not to go over well, since they tried to destroy this connection from the onset. They will not be thrilled.

Intuition Has Been Back burnered for a Long Time

If you have been with a narcissist for any length of time, you may not realize it, but you have been conditioned to turn off your intuition, to lose sight it, not to listen to it and definitely not to share it. Because of the tactics the narcissist has used over and over again, you may find you are out of touch with your intuition and have been for an extended amount of time.

You may have closed the door to it years ago, or longer. Getting in touch with it, separating yourself from the narcissist so you can have a clear head, and assess, time to think will aid in getting back in touch with it.

Trained to Deny

Not only have you placed your intuition on the back burner, but you have also been trained by the narcissist to handle it a certain way. You may automatically be trained to deny it, ignore it and to definitely not listen to it. You have been trained to listen to the narcissist, not yourself.

The very tactics a narcissist uses against you are the very tactics you may start to use against yourself without even realizing it. It may be a pattern which has existed for a long time. The good news is that that we can begin to make changes and it starts with awareness. Observe how you treat yourself.

Intuition may Cause Changes

Getting in touch with your intuition can have a profound impact over time. As you begin to listen to it, and rebuild your trust (with yourself), you will listen more and with confidence be able to make changes that you deem to be the right moves for you.

It’s Hard to Implement

Yes, it’s hard to make changes, especially at first. As part of the recovery process from narcissistic abuse, there is a process to begin again to take time for yourself and gradually make changes when ready that will be beneficial to you. One step at a time. Be easy on yourself. Having the awareness is a great start.

Others may downplay your intuition

One of the most challenging hurdles in reconnecting with our intuition is what to do with the knowledge once acquired. We may be excited to hear a voice that has been quieted for so long and may wish to share it. While sharing is great in bringing individuals together, be sure you have a safe place in which you can share.

You may quickly find that there are others who you believed to be in your inner circle, who you believe supported you in your efforts, only were flying monkeys from the narcissist, or who do not appreciate your newfound connection. They may be jealous, etc., not everyone will be supportive is my point. It’s a process, which may be defined further by trial and error.

Timeline

Reconnecting with your intuition is a process and it will take time. There is no rush, gradually start to establish the connection and overtime you will build on this foundation. You will rebuild your confidence and trust in yourself again.

We hope this has been helpful, what hurdles have you run into as you were rebuilding after a relationship with a narcissist? What was the process like for you in rebuilding trust with yourself and learning to listen to your inner voice of intuition? Drop a comment below!