The Great Divorce is Coming: Women Have Had Enough and Want to Be Free-8 Things to Digest
I’ll probably get some backlash for this article, but you know sometimes we need to speak and share what is on everyone’s mind lately and put it into actual words.
Women, is it our time now?
How long have we been held back?
Things are changing and it’s time we address the elephant in the room! Put your seatbelt on for this article because there is a windfall coming, and has long been overdue.
Table of Contents
We Don't Want to Be Controlled Anymore
Birthed within many women, has always been the desire to create, to live, breathe and not be controlled.
However from a young age, the conditioning began, social conditioning. We were taught or brainwashed into believing certain ideologies – that we must be small, must be subservient, that we must take care of and support others, that we must not take care of ourselves first, that we need to look beautiful and young, smile always, be discreet, never loud our boisterous, never speak or share our mind…the list goes on.
And, if you grew up in purity culture, the thoughts and ideologies, social grooming was obtuse. Perhaps you have started to deconstruct some of the beliefs the were ingrained into you and years later they no longer make sense. It’s okay to start the deconstruction process…
But you know what? We had to be controlled earlier on and women choose to settle for it as a means to survival. We were not allowed to divorce our husbands, please read up on the No Fault Divorce….
Wisdom From My Grandmother
Our grandmothers were stuck in marriages that they could not get out of. I remember my grandmother saying to me:
- Have your own money!
- Don’t rely on a man.
I know there were other things she wanted to tell me then, but couldn’t – things I would not have understood, but grammy, I get it now!
What is Happening Here?
And frankly, over the past few years, none of the messages that were taught and ingrained into us, are making sense. The lightbulb went off and we are seeing the lies, the gaslighting, the mixed messages, all meant to control, and downplay women’s roles, to take advantage of us, to minimize our contribution to society all to keep us in some sort of check.
And now, we are saying FU to these messages. We have careers, we can do things we were never able to do in society before. We can start and run businesses and all our freedom is driving some others mad, insane if you will and they cannot handle that we have risen to the place we are at currently.
Many are mad, furious at our accomplishments want to bring us back down to be subservient, they say there are no more traditional women out there…
What a mess are we in? Or is it the beginning of the Great Divorce? What is going to come from this?
Child-Free By Choice
I have always been fiercely independent, I choose not to have children. I have traveled to almost all 50 states and now travel internationally. I love the life I have built – but there are some who are very angry with my ambition, my determination and see it as a problem because they do not want this to be mimicked where other women do the same.
Women are No Longer Held Back
Sure, we still don’t get equal pay, but…
I’m just one woman, but women are stepping into who they are, are we are no longer being held back.
- More women are enrolled in education than men.
- Women are choosing to remain single now. Especially if they were in an abusive marriage or relationship.
- Women are choosing not to have children and be childfree by choice.
And the men are livid about it. Why? Because they can’t exploit us for their gain, and they are running out of options. And because we see it. One man even feared that men would become extinct.
Now, I don’t think we have to go that far…but it’s interesting how far the mind of a man will go, and how far he thinks ahead when they view things that they have been accustomed to for decades be taken away.
Is the Great Divorce Coming?
And what I predict will happen and is already happening after the Big C – event, is the Great Divorce.
I am predicting, women will file and leave their husbands in the next few years in mass, because we are sick of:
- Weaponized Incompetence
- The Relationship is not a True Partnership where Household Responsibilities are Evenly Distributed
- Lack of Mutual Respect in the Partnership
- Communication is Not at the Forefront of the Partnership
- Misogyny
- Lack of Emotional Intelligence in Relationships With No Desire to Learn
- Rise of Relational Narcissism
- We See the Patriarchy and How Destructive it Has Been For Women
- Marriage is Not a Mutually Beneficial Arrangement (It Benefits Men)
- The Gaslighting
- A Host of Other Tactics Meant to Control and Extract Free Labor From Women
- How Women are Treated by their Husbands as Second-Class Citizens and Women are Saying, “Check, Please!”
- Women Have United and We are Sharing our Experiences and We Realize, We Were Married to the Same Men
- Marital Coercion
This is a Systemic Issue
This is a systemic issue. Patriarchy has ruled the land and we have all become victims to it. But now, we are at a time, where we have said enough, and things need to change.
Women have already started making changes.
In addition, we are not leaving the men out entirely, we are saying to the men,
- Evolve with Us
- Deconstruct from the Patriarchy
- Use Your Independent Thought to See Things Honestly and Adequately from a Women’s Perspective
- Are you able to See Women as Truly Human, and not as to be Objectified?
Men* Never Really Liked Us
We know the men, never really liked us…they were with us for:
- Free Household Labor
- Free Emotional Labor
- Seggs
- Used Us so they Could Get Ahead in their Careers
- It was Socially Acceptable
We knew your heart was with your bros…and that you never really liked your wife as a friend and respected as a true person.
We know.
Check, Please
We have had enough.
We are Fierce, Strong and Independent
Women have been lied to.
We were told that we needed to have a relationship, or be in one, or always seek one out.
But we are fine, we are doing just fine.
Men, you. had your chance, and you failed us. And many of us have moved on, are making different lives for ourselves.
Are women actually better leaders?
Are Women Better Leaders?
Lie #43 that women have been taught is that Men are Better Leaders.
Women are deconstructing things that have been taught to us for decades and this topic of leadership has come up for us to dissect too.
According to American Psychological Association,
- Female leaders demonstrate more transformational leadership styles, according to a landmark 1992 meta-analysis of 61 studies led by Eagly. They are more likely to epitomize what’s good in the organization and inspire people to go along with its mission, compared with men, study results show.
Where are We Headed?
Current trends in 2023 show that 69% of divorce is initiated by women, but how many choose to stay together for various reasons but the relationship has died and it’s a matter of convenience? Women are going to be opting out marriages, because we have had it. We wanted it to work, we were told marriage is the way to go since we were little girls, but maybe this was another lie that was fed to us.
I’d love to hear your thoughts…
Reversal of Roe V. Wade and Women's Rights
The breakdown of marriage and partnerships as we know it is not only on an individual basis, it is systemic, meaning women’s rights are being pulled back with the recent reversal of Roe v. Wade. Our own country has taken large strides against half the population. Where is the outcry? The men have gone silent.
And…don’t even get us started on the recent legislation trying to overturn no fault divorce…
*not all men
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Interesting article. As a man who is a newly wed it is fascinating. Would love to unpack the heart behind this article with you if you wouldn’t mind. Thanks!