Weight Changes in the Recovery Process

Trigger Warning: Article includes DV, Domestic Violence information which may trigger C-PTSD symptoms. Read with caution.

Well, if you thought I hit the limit on sensitive topics, you will be in for a real treat with this article.

Today, we are going to talk about changes in weight after going through narcissistic abuse.

I speak and share about my personal story here…as I know some of you are going through these exact things. I find there is so little information on the interwebs about going through weight changes as it relates to narcissism. So, I’m your gal pal sharing my heart and experiences.

Note: I am not a doctor so this is a disclaimer that this is not medical advice.

Two Narcissistic Relationships

I have been in two awful romantic relationships which I would characterize as under the umbrella of a narcissistic relationship. I didn’t realize it at the time…and no one really does, until they do.

The First Was Dreaded Awful

My first dreaded awful relationship was horrific. We know how awful being in a relationship with a narcissist is, this article is not going to go through the tactics (I have a book on that), but what happens to the body as it is under the stress and duress and in survival mode for an unnatural extended time.

And this, my friends, is another reason why it’s so important to end and to go no contact with these people.

It’s because the lasting implications of these disastrous relationships lingers on way longer.

Related: What happens after No Contact:

My first relationship was almost 20 years ago, yes a very long time ago. And while I don’t need to go into the details of the relationship, my body was under so much stress of the relationship, I gained a lot of weight (not sure how much), 20-30 pounds in the 9 months we were together.

When we ended it, which was a horrific experience, I immediately lost 17 pounds. The stress ended. The performance ended. Being under constant obtuse criticism ended. Having to explain myself 247 times a day to a psycho ended. Holy sh*t, it was the worst experience of my life up to that point.

Here's My Latest Book!

Be Careful When You Break Up

After he bled my brake lines, and tried to cut off my left three fingers with my kitchen knife when I tried to break up with him, I drove off to work, trying to hold it all together.

I called the police and the police said it was textbook. I applaud the cop for saying it was textbook, but you know what, I didn’t know textbook what? He didn’t explain further – even after I asked.

He was an absolute psycho.

Related: My Story-Start Here to Learn More

Weight Directly Connected

In this relationship, I believe my weight was directly involved/related this relationship. When stress is in the body for a prolonged state, and the body is stuck in a flight-or-fight stage, things happen and the starts to break down and things start to change/shift.

My Marriage

Now, this is something I have never shared, but have wanted to for a long while. I do it because like I said in the intro, there are many out there who are RIGHT NOW, going through this very thing, and may feel like an anomaly.

And what’s worse is if you go to the doctor, they are dismissive, or they gaslight you, I digress.

Set a New World Record

I got married when I was 40 years old.

This was back in 2016. I was 135 pounds, a runner, lifted weights, did high-intensity interval-training (HIIT), and was in decent shape. I was a size 8 and felt really good. I was strong, since I lifted weights, was very active and loved to run 5K’s and 10K’s.

During this marriage, I gained weight instantly.

I was under this heavy stress again, and it started 3 months after we said I do.

I was under constant criticism, heavy demands were put on me, I was being lied to, gaslight on a regular basis, dismissed, belittled, and soo much more.

When I say I hit a new record, let me share more here.

And of course, the relationship did not start out like this. I was lovebombed, I was told things that never happened, and there was no intention of it happening. I was dating an actor, who lied to me over and over again, with a smile on their face and who was convincing in a very manipulative manner – so it was undetected – until it was detected.

My body was in stress beyond any stress I had been in before, even over the other disastrous relationship a long while before.

When I say I hit a world record, let me break down what this means, and why I lived in shame for a long time about it.

In 4 years, 3 years post divorce, I was still so shattered emotionally, that I gained weight as I went through my recovery process.

My Diet Didn't Really Change

Now I was not eating twinkies and tootsie rolls.

Yes, I lived in the USA at the time and the food in the USA is also not good (another topic), but the prolonged stress caused me much grief.

Not only did I lose my marriage, I lost family too, I went no contact with my mom which resulted in being ostracized from my family of origin and extended family. I lost friendships I had for 10 years plus…

All this took a toll on me.

Oh, and then I lost my figure.

Women are More Than Our Bodies

Society has an ultimate obsession with women’s bodies. They are glamorized everywhere you turn.

It has also been stated that when women turn a certain age, like 50, that they become hidden, or not seen anymore.

What to Do?

There are some things you can do, if this happens to you.

Know that you are not alone.

You may even jot it down that as you are recovering, plan ahead for changes in weight, either up or down. Stress does different things to people and it won’t happen exactly the same to you.

Make an Appointment with your Doctor

Doctors in the USA have changed in my opinion. As may of you know, I no longer live in the USA. I have been able to find a doctor in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico, that specializes in woman’s health, can run tests for hormones, and thyroid to be sure you are at optimal levels. She actually cares and is not stuck behind the USA healthcare system. Send me message if you want me to connect you to the doctor I found, at (info@movingforwardafterabuse.com).

When you go through narcissistic trauma, it’s not only an emotional recovery process, it’s physical, it’s total body (mind, body and spirit) – everything is impacted, with a wide arm, and it takes time to recover.

I created our youtube channel back in 2019, because I wanted to share and help others who were suffering through relationships. I wanted to provide insight and assistance on the topic of narcissism and still do, which may help others see the tactics.

I didn’t want to share my face on my videos at the time so I choreographed the videos and I did the voiceover.

Now, I am starting to share my face more.

I’m grateful to say I’ve lost a lot of it after I moved out of the USA and my mental health improved along with finding joy again. So many changes. If you wish to chat and book time with me, visit our chat with me page here. I’d love to support your on your journey.

It’s absolutely true the road in recovering from narcissistic abuse is a windy road, there are unexpected turns, wide valleys and there are the mountain peaks where we can look back and see how far we have come on the journey.

The journey changes us, we become different than who we were before. Our eyes widen, we become sharper, and we understand our situation and can see what we never saw before, which may be frightening to some. It’s a deep journey.

Have you seen changes in your weight in the recovery process of narcissistic abuse? Has this article been helpful? Drop a comment and share your experience!