Is Narcissistic Abuse a Hate Crime?

Narcissistic Abuse. It’s an insidious crime. Should it be classified in its own category as a hate-crime? In this article we will discuss how an individual can be affected by narcissistic abuse and tip to handle going forward, an encouraging message.

How does narcissistic Abuse affect someone?

It’s a crime against the heart and soul of a person. It tears apart the inner workings of the mind. It causes a cluster of roller-coaster emotions doing back-flips inside-out.

Left is right, down is side-ways, and there is turmoil throughout the body. The heart sees only gut-wrenching pain and is in utter anguish. There is a cry that the body cannot mend – though it tries.

There is a tiny light at the end of the tunnel that we can barely see, and sometimes it falls out of focus. To see it gives a glimpse of hope.

The pain can sap your energy.

I was drained mentally and physically. I was exhausted–all the time. I had no energy on a day-to-day basis. I was shot. I remember thinking that I had little effort to put into matching my clothes. I had minimal brain power to handle my outfits, and I didn’t care what others thought. My stress levels were on overload for a long time. Clothes-matching was not a high-priority!

It gets better. Keep MOVING FORWARD. IT HAPPENED!

Validation that the abuse occurred helps to soothe the soul.

The narcissist had trained us that we were out of our minds, that the abuse never occurred and that we are crazy, unstable and just flat out wrong. Our confidence diminished. Our self-esteem has been buried in the sand.

I will tell you now the abuse occurred – you are not crazy. Your facts were right on.

You think clearly and you saw and felt what happened. You experienced this attack on your heart and soul.

We have been told things like – we are imagining things, that is not what happened, our facts are incorrect, that we are off base, not credible sources to recollect facts and events. Not reliable or trustworthy. The list goes on…

It was maddening.

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Should Narcissistic Abuse be a Hate Crime?

Narcissistic abusers have so many tactics they use against us (victims at the time), I can’t believe I didn’t see any of them–I fell for them all. If I fell for them all, there is a possibility that you did too and therefore you may feel like a schmuck. It’s okay.

This is the beginning of a whole new era in our life. Today may be the first day you see what they are doing to you.

Understand that the one who said they loved you, or were supposed to be there to love you, did not have your best interests at heart. (Re-read this sentence.

It took me a while to understand this; I had to state this to myself several times!) They took advantage of your good traits and used their mastery level skills of manipulation to control and abuse you. This is the insidious crime of narcissistic abuse.

The one who said they loved you, or were supposed to be there to love you, did not have your best interests at heart. This is the insidious crime of narcissistic abuse.

We believed the lies for far too long. We believed they had our best interest at heart. Then we woke up. We saw the light and had our holy shit moment.

Start Today, Today is Day One

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A friend of mind recommended a book to me regarding pain and said she carries it around with her wherever she goes. I found that a bit intriguing. I read this book and it has been beneficial to me on my rebuilding journey. The book is called, How to Stop the Pain by James. B. Richards.

Resource: Check out our Recommended Books Page

Start to Rebuild

Through the pain, we see we have got to take the steps to rebuild – everything. Everything which was robbed from us.

There is so much to rebuild! It can seem daunting. Yes, we can start slowly in rebuilding.

Rome was not built in a day. Rebuilding doesn’t always mean doing a physical activity to restore.

Start Slow

Rebuilding our lives may mean resting for days, weeks, months, cancelling plans and moving forward when we are ready. It’s seeing ourselves in light of our circumstances and moving forward one–loving–day–at–a -time.

We need to lay a new foundation.

Most people don’t understand and may never even care to understand what happened to us. We may lose friendships and even family. We will need to rebuild our lives with or without our “friends and family”.

We will need to rebuild our lives with or without our “friends and family”.

One thing we will have is our self. (This sounds like such a strange statement, but it’s true!) We will be with our self until the end.

Why not make it a great life going forward? It is possible.

Revolutionary Changes

When I discovered that I was seeing the symptoms of narcissism in my life, I knew I had to make some changes, many, many changes. Really–everything had to be revamped. I now had a mission. I had to get to the root of the issue.

I needed to learn. I need to grasp what happened, why, when, who, all of it. I was determined to figure it out–and still am. I wanted to know everything, so to help another in some way and to help myself heal and recover.

The narcissistic abuse endured was not for naught.

We need a new perspective.

Sometimes we need hard times to be able to take a step back and look at our lives like we have never done before.

The way we have acted, thought, lived, needs to go through a life transformation.

There is more to this life and the patterns of our past.

We need a revolutionary change in our lives! We need a complete 180-degree turn.

Be Encouraged

There are people that have recovered from emotional narcissistic abuse. I remember after I had my light bulb moment watching YouTube videos on the subject. I remember thinking that if the authors made it – they had enough energy to make a YouTube video on the subject. I was inspired. I had hope. I knew it was going to get better.

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Knowledge and Awareness is Increasing on the Subject

There are more blogs, vlogs, websites and life coaches teaching on this subject. We are progressing forward and this is good. Still, keep in mind, when speaking to friends and even some family members, what I have found out is that many will claim they understand the spirit of narcissism, but they haven’t a clue. They will act like they understand but they may have a semi-level of understanding but not experiential. Many people don’t want to admit they don’t fully understand.

Narcissism is on the rise

I think we hear a lot about narcissism being on the rise due to social media. While I believe this may be true, I believe this spirit of narcissism has been around for a long time, but seems to be more prevalent today than ever before. The point is this; we need to be able to handle those we come across in our lives who we discern may be acting out in this way. Be prepared. Learn how to respond. Learn how to walk away.

We can control our actions

While we certainly cannot control those around us, we can control our actions. We can choose our words. We can remove ourselves from a situation and we can choose our reaction to the words. Many times the narcissist in our life will want that reaction from us. They will say and do the most gut-wrenching things to cause a reaction from us. Maintain our control and peace and use wisdom as the best way to handle.

In Closing

As insidious and hateful as this crime is to another person, do you think this is a hate crime?

I would love to hear from you! I would like to hear if you have been through narcissistic abuse and how your life has changed. Do you think narcissistic abuse is a hate-crime? Please leave a comment below. Please also get to get the word out regarding narcissistic abuse. Please share this article.

Please check out my book to assist in your personal recovery from narcissistic abuse, Overcoming Devastation of Narcissistic Abuse: How to Heal, Recover and Take your Life Back