Is there Hope for Relationships after a Narcissistic Relationship? 4 Things to Understand in the Recovery Process
If you have been following my blog for a while or perhaps you are new here, to date we have over 100+ articles on our site all geared toward recovering from a relationship with a narcissist or having grown up in a similar family environment or perhaps have had friends who were less than supportive in your life.
On our site, we shed light on the imbalance and that tactics that ultimately destroy relationships, so you can be equipped to learn how to detect the red flags, heal and ultimately move forward.
This article today, we aim to provide a level of hope, toward relationships. We are going to delve into, not all relationships have an undercurrent of imbalance. Not all relationships are abusive. Not all relationships are dreaded awful especially if you have been in a relationship with a narcissist.
We want to provide a little hope after all the unfortunate events you have been through.
Table of Contents
Relationships Can Hold People Back
Relationships can absolutely be challenging and when there is a layer of imbalance of power, or one party is used to advance the other party’s position and/or when there are abusive tactics used chronically, this can hold back the party that has the disadvantage.
One of the main purposes of this site is to provide information so you can detect if someone is using you for their advantage which is a grave disservice to you – which has a compounding effect the longer you remain in it, depending on your circumstances.
If you have been in this situation, it’s best to safely exit, and if you are in relationship with a true narcissist, the exit plan is totally different. Read more about it here.
The Healing Journey Can Make You Jaded
When you are in the recovery stages of narcissistic abuse recovery, you can go through many stages in order to heal.
While healing from the trauma, what can also form is an addiction to the information on healing from the trauma.
Sometimes there is an insatiable desire to learn about what has occurred, and sometimes there is a desire to connect with others who have endured the same or similar traumatic experiences.
The latter provides validation and helps to know you are not alone on the journey.
The Healing Journey can also be a time when you may become jaded, and you may go through a stage examining if everyone you meet has narcissistic tendencies – which is not a bad place to be for a time.
What is occurring is you are building your radar to detect abusers and this process can be fine-tuned as you learn more and as your skills increase to detect.
Not All Relationships Have an Imbalance
If you have endured narcissistic trauma from relationships (of any kind), you may even come to a point that you either no longer desire to be partnered up, may not even seek out a partner or wish just to call it quits on the relationship thing and desire to just go solo for a time, or forever.
Whichever path you choose, it’s totally okay and completely understandable.
Make Quick Decisions
When I am in a situation that doesn’t feel right to me for whatever reason…for instance, I feel I am on the verge of being manipulated, or not treated right in conversation, that there is something just not right about the interaction, I have the tendency now to move past it much quicker than before.
I will not spend my time trying to fix the outcome, trying to make the other person understand me or my point of view. I will just not entertain. My tolerance level is low for BS if you will and any sort of manipulative game.
Wade Through Obnoxious Behavior
This goes hand-in-hand with the above…when you see tactics that are outlined in my book, Master Manipulators, it’s best to move on.
I no longer spend my time or energy to be present and engaged. I save my energy for other things.
I find when I try to fix or engage in a conversation where I am not appreciated, it takes more from me than I can easily restore. I need to keep my energy levels for what I wish to entertain.
Why do I move on so quickly? Because I know what trying to fix, or giving my energy to another party without balanced reciprocation, to be taken advantage of, being undervalued did for me. I saw how it was a bunch of lies and I no longer subscribe to support this mission. I have re-aligned and am very sensitive to the tactics and when I detect it, I choose to walk in another direction. I just can’t put up with it anymore.
Look out for Disrespect
Not only is abuse disrespectful, but many times abuse is covert. So, it may sound respectful, but the actions are anything but…
An abuser will abuse with a smile on their face. They will act charming and may have a whole world around them that is supportive of their endeavors.
I don’t have to call-out in real life abusers, I can just choose to walk in another direction.
Watch the Video on Charisma
Understand the Depth of What You Have Been Through
If you have endured narcissistic trauma, for any length of time, it can have a devastating impact on your mental health.
Take time to realize the depth of your situation and take steps to heal and recover from it as you move forward in your own time.
The hope in this is you have learned what not to tolerate in a relationship, the bar has been raised, and you have developed key and essential relationship skills.
When abusers or takers see your skills, they will probably flee as they see you as someone who will not be taken advantage of.
Learn to Take Care of Yourself
If you have been in a relationship with an abuser or a taker, and now you have come to put yourself first, others may even call you selfish.
They do this because they can no longer take advantage of you. You are no longer a resource for them – and quite frankly they may be angry about it.
So, they want you to feel uncomfortable by putting yourself first and will try to continue to etch away at your relationship experience and may even try to rob it from you.
But continue on, take care of yourself first, look out for you without feeling a sense of guilt or shame because of it.
Hope for Relationships
I do believe it’s possible to have a mutually beneficial relationship, that fosters empathy, mutual sharing, openness, and a partnership that is balanced where safe communication and trust occurs.
While I am not an expert on how to find this, it starts with doing the inner work to come to a level to be the best partner you can be.
Trust your intuition, continue to grow and develop as a human who has been through circumstances, continue to read books and engage those who can push you ahead in your journey.
Not All Connections are Toxic
There are still many well-meaning, respectful, and delightful people in this world.
I believe that people can be kind, want to help, love to connect and laugh from the heart out there.
Find your people, reconnect with yourself, your people and as tomorrow brings with it it’s challenges, know you have the skills to wade through the challenges that lie ahead.
What were some of the challenges you faced as you recovered from a narcissistic relationship? Did you feel you were becoming jaded at one point? How are you now in your healing journey? Are you starting to regain hope for partnerships in the future? Drop a comment and share your thoughts.
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